Fired today – but it’s okay

I got fired from my tutoring / blogging job today. At first I was upset. Not so much that I cared, but rather that it was an ego blow. I was ready to leave, just not quite sure how or when. This was the kick in my ass, or rather my kick out the door. Not a fire under my ass but lighting my ass on fire. Shoving me out the window. Slamming the door on my face and squeezing my pinky toe in the process. Yes! It really does have feeling and that little sucker can feel pain.

My husband says it was the best thing for me.

My dad said it was the best thing for me.

As I clean up my desk and discover reminders about it I see that it really did consume a chunk of my time. Time I was not spending writing my own stuff. Things that are important to me. So I know that I have this time available to me. I made the excuse this past week that I was not able to do much writing as I focused my free time on the application for the summer workshop. But I managed to send in my blogs. I found the time to write and edit them.

One of the things I discussed with my shrink was how this silly little tutoring blog was somehow beneficial despite being annoying. I think it served its purpose. Gave me discipline. And despite hurting my confidence with the silly corrections, gave me more confidence in my judgment. I know I am a good writer. I did not need to hear it from some Putz at a tutoring company.

Perhaps in some way I was sabotaging it. I was getting ready to leave. Here are two ironies. This morning I was complaining to my sister about it and said that I was ready to phase it out. Last night Hubby told me again that I was wasting my time and should quit. I was working on my manuscript currently titled Multiple Choice on the chapter when the Mona, the main character, gets fired from a tutoring job. So these three things led up to that cowardly email Putz sent to me.

I wrote a post that lifted quotes from another website. I cut and pasted quotes and gave credit to the person who said them. It happens that they were lifted from a site that they were looking to develop a partnership and “bring national attention” to the company. I feel badly that I went out with that much of a bang and potentially hurt his company. Although I find it hard to believe that this was his one shot or that this one shot would have led to so much. Perhaps that’s what the Putz needed to “terminate our relationship.”
I just think he could have called or said something quasi tactful like “terminate our relationship” as opposed to see below emails to “understand why you are fired.” Probably felt great for him to write that. He is young like me. Yes I still consider myself young. Was probably a rash email which was sent with a lovely and insulting follow-up.

The day before this exchange, as in yesterday, I found mistakes with the grammar mistakes Editrax made. I sent am email pointing out two corrections resulting from her unnecessary edits. Tell me, is there really a difference, when discussing a feature of a standardized test, between any question and all questions? Not exactly in my mind.

Putz replies to my corrections of her corrections by insinuating that I am caddy. And he spelled it catty. Guess he did not spell check that!

My husband told me today that I was too smart to be wasting my time on this site. I was too smart for it. Thanks Baby. I saw my dad for dinner tonight and he did not even blink for a second in congratulating me. He said if nothing else, if I read in the amount of time I devoted to this blog, then I come out ahead. These boys also said something that made me realize, I can always be a writer. Not as in I have infinite time to be, but as in, I can always identify myself as a writer. It does not have to be my vocation though. I can also make a vocation out of real estate.

The last post I was working on was about pacing for standardized tests. About when to pursue a question to get it right and when to cut bait, guess and continue. I think this is a parable. I can still be a writer but I may make more money with a part time vocation in something other than writing, which may lead me to appreciate writing opportunity.

Also – note to self, I was certainly commenting about this stupid blogging thing on here (sorry for subjecting you) which means that it was apparently consuming a chunk of time. Like I wrote in my statement of purpose for the writing workshop, I don’t have an infinite amount of time to write. And if something is going to compete with time with my daughter, it should be something rewarding and productive.

The blog gig was productive and served its purpose. I see that I have the time to write. I have a better idea of discipline. Oh, and the other GREAT thing about the experience, got me start this blog which is far more rewarding and may one day lead to a book deal. One can hope.

So this is super long for a blog post, from what I understand about the blogosphere. But for any scouts out there, this is my thought process. My raw thought flow chart. Agents take note.

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