Archive for November, 2009

Growing Up

November 4, 2009

Saying what’s on my mind.

just saying things outloud.
i don’t have to edit myself
being free from what people expect of me versus what is best for me
my sister is coming to town and I do not want to drop everything for her.
It is not my first priority, my first priority is me and my immediate family.
strange how my definition of family evolved to matt and the kids

taking care of my grandma, being with her
need my outlet
need to go back to writing

seeing myself wake up
find myself making more responsible choices over the more hedonistic

controlling my emotions – not reacting to every feeling as I have them
no longer relating

need to revisit my writing
my story
my Mona

Struggle
struggle
struggle
struggle with doing what is right and weigh two three steps ahead of my thoughts

redefining instant gratification: doing those spontaneous activities – from grabbing a drink with D
not rushing back to the city to see H
Not dropping my life which is what she expects me to do: summer, visit during unveiling

How H felt when I went to get my hair done

Writing, reading focusing on what is important – theme in my life

My husband biggest supporter

Defining the type of person I want to become. being that person.
They say write as if everyone you know is dead, living that way and being ethical

seeing ethics/ values different than that of my family core – struggling with last name – letting go of one identity and assuming the other with my married name.