You’re Reading This

I’ve heard it said countless times from countless professionals in varying forms, they feel like a fraud.

My mom used to say, you want to be a writer, proof! You’re a writer. And you can substitute writer for photographer, jewelry designer, costumer, actress, singer, you get the point.

My grandmother’s friend reached out to me because her thirteen year old son is scared to try new things lest he fail. And while she wanted advice on how to break this behavior I could relate.

I’m scared to go back to writing my novel lest I do not finish. Or I finish and I do not get an agent. Or I get an agent but it doesn’t get published. Or it gets published but does not go anywhere. Okay, I’m not afraid of the latter stuff, but inside I am still an insecure student desperate for approval and confirmation that I’m talented.

I’m sure this is all normal (note to self: see first sentence) but emotions are not always rational. Fear of failure logically is stupid. If I do not start, I will fail. And there is a part of me that is so afraid to tell my children in high school, oh yeah, I wanted to be a writer. I started a novel. Never pursued it.

I get nervous when people I know read my work, as if they are judging me and my talents based on an excerpt. Again, not a logical reason not to write. Augusten Burroughs said that we should write as if everyone we know is dead. I am giving myself that freedom, and to recount memories that may embarrass or offend my family and to liberate myself from any self imposed censorship.

I hit a small snafu. I write for a NYC Moms Blog and promote my other site, Milf Alert. I’m also a member of parenting community message board that recently moved its operation to Big Tent, the same site used by NYCMomsBlog. I’m worried if I post something on the message board it will come up as MilfAlert and I am not quite ready to link my identity to my site among the community of mothers in my neighborhood. Not entirely certain how to check, but I imagine I will by the time I need to post something.

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One Response to “You’re Reading This”

  1. Marion Jacobson Says:

    Why don’t you post some excerpts from your novel? I’d read it.
    I just started my own blog, http://www.albanymommyblogger.com/wordpress. Please drop in and say hello.

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