The Cycle of Life

In six years I have had two children and watched my immediate family include seven new nieces and nephews.  During this time I’ve said good bye in order to my mom, my uncle, my dad, my paternal grandma and most recently my maternal grandma.  In between a good family friend and two of my husband’s uncles passed.

 

It gets easier to accept people moving on, as we make room for new lives in our heart.  The ache may be less though the void is still pronounced.  I have a litney of  lines I share with people when they lose someone, as now I’ve become a defunct expert on such tragedies.

 

It’s always too soon.

How lucky to have someone whose absence is so devastating.

(most of the time) It’s the right cycle of life.  We are supposed to say goodbye to our elders.

We have one guarantee in life, nobody survives.

It’s awful.  It’s supposed to suck.

 

And still I find myself moving to a new home, celebrating birthdays, enjoying the magic of the mundane with my kids and missing my parents and grandparents.  I suppose I’ll never stop missing them and wanting to share with them.  And what a privilege I had sharing these moments with them  when they were alive.

 

I’ve also become more zen about my inevitable passing.  It can happen at any moment so I try to enjoy as much as I can not waiting for that perfect time to buy, do or go somewhere. Sometimes this joie de vivre frustrates others, but in the words of my mom it is not a dress rehearsal.

 

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