Archive for the ‘Mommy and me class’ Category


April 13, 2008

I was able to bang out the posts for that tutoring blog and pretty much recycled the same ones for three of the four standardized tests. I don’t care any more. The people at the tutoring company are beyond annoying at the moment and I am ready to throw in the towel. So we’ll see how everything plays out.

I think I have a sinus infection too because I have allergy symptoms but am not responding to any medications. Usually my allergies are not terrible and nobody else around me seems to be suffering the way I am. And I do feel like I am suffering. I’ve already gone through a box of tissues this weekend.

I’m working, ahem completing, my application for a summer writing workshop in my hometown. 10 days. Cannot wait. I have no idea how competitive it is, if anything I think it is not, but I am still nervous about being accepted. I said in my statement of purpose that I will have completed a rough second draft of my second novel. Hopefully that will light a fire under me to finish that goal by July.

Note to publishers/agents/literary scouts (do you even exist??): I can complete my work in a timely fashion with a deadline.

Random Note: Why do you think the moms in the mommy and me classes like to wear their jeans so low that I can see a butt crack or underwear? I don’t find you sexy, put on a belt! Your kid does not find you sexy, wear pants that stay on your waist. You know you are going to bend down chasing your baby or picking him up, you knew enough to wear eye catching underwear (BTW – do you even find G-strings comfortable?), but you did not know enough to put on jeans that fit you.

Mom vent: just a short one today, have to save some fodder for the shrink later this week. I showed her an extremely rough draft of the first chunk of the novel. She said 1) I like the font.* 2) I think you should go back to the other book. Am I justified in being offended? Please comment. Or give me a book deal. This new book is going to be the best font ever.

*American Typewriter Font, Microsoft Word


New Social Order

April 11, 2008

The music together class yesterday was not terrible. I just hate the part where they tell you to dance with your child around the room. It’s fun to talk to the mom’s but 1) Pookers is not light and my back is not so strong. The idea of holding her and bouncing around is not exactly appealing. 2) The dancing leads to social time and often times I feel excluded when all of the other moms are chatting away and I am just sitting there holding my heavy baby with my back about to spasm.

Meeting The Moms and entering this new social world is akin to high school. Again. I thought after those four years I would not have to endure the pettiness and social hierarchies of caddy contemporaries. Then I went to a women’s college and discovered a new pedigree of peers. But now this.

BTW – Did anyone actually enjoy high school?

There was some email that went around inviting Moms to a night out. Somehow, conveniently I was off the list. One mom apologized and said, “I need your email” in the same sweet voice she says every single week. I suppose I should just give it to her already. But she never actually asks.

These Moms, this new social structure, the dynamics, and of course the kids. Great fodder for a novel. The Mommy Diaries? Any takers? Could make it a fiction story – I have some good characters sketched out. Could be a how-to navigate and survive the first year of motherhood. Not sure if I made it clear, but I would LOVE a book deal.

Off to the pediatrician today. Pookers needs some vaccines and my husband, surprise surprise – to me at least – is coming. At least he intended to as of 9am this morning.

Music Together Again and Again

April 10, 2008

I’m taking my six-month old to a Music Together class today. For those of you without children or those parents fortunate enough to avoid this ridiculousness, don’t rub it in. Music Together is a 45 minute class where parents dress up their children in the cutest outfits while throwing sweats on themselves that may or may not match. A “teacher” takes out props which range from a small drum, to a maraca , to a scarf, to who cares my daughter just eats it and we all bop along to a song. It was absolutely adorable the first time. The second time we went to class and heard the same exact music and played with the same exact toys that my baby slobbered all over it was not so fun. Besides, nobody commented on her adorable new outfit.

After the first class, the instructor passed out CDs and a booklet. At first I thought I had homework, but it was just the lyrics to the songs with the notes in case I wanted to practice on the piano that I don’t have. I was then advised to play the CD regularly so my child can recognize the songs. That worked for a little while.

There is some inverse proportion that the more annoying a song is, the catchier it is and the brighter my daughter’s face lights up at seeing it.

Today is a new semester or term of the class which means a fresh batch of annoying tunes. I am not entirely clear why I signed up, but I did. It’s easy. It’s close. It’s only 45 minutes. I like some of the moms. I like showing off my little Pookers’ outfits. Of course today I am so behind on the laundry she’s lucky she is not naked. Pookers is wearing a basic little dress from Old Navy. But of course she still looks adorable. (I am a mom.)

One mother who I respect because she seems educated and interesting thinks the class is educational. How much education is my 6 month old gaining from eating instruments in a group? Not much. But she does like to watch the bigger kids crawl around. If it is so educational, why is there one song with the biggest dangling participle in the chorus? Okay, there is the grammar snob in me. You may be asking yourself how can I be a grammar elitist when there are likely mistakes in this post. At least the tutoring company that I am blogging for points out lots of “corrections.” There stupid adjustments involve changing sentences around that are not necessarily grammatically incorrect. They just tend to dumb it down for the people reading their site – which I don’t think is really anyone other than spammers and consultants looking to steer people to their website. Enough about them. I don’t even know how long I want to continue writing for that site. After all, now I have my own site where I don’t have to make any corrections. Of course I am not getting paid for this. Yet. Unless I get my book deal. Are you an agent? A publisher? Know one? Please.

So this lame song has a chorus “I have a silly cat, I never know where he is at.” It drives me bonkers. I almost emailed the director to voice a concern, but I don’t have that much time on my hands. I am writing a second novel. And yes, I should be working on that now while Pookers is sleeping, but I am not. Maybe if I had a book deal. I thought of other rhymes that could work too. “I have a silly cat, I don’t know why he is so fat.” Or “I have a silly cat, he always wants me to give him a pat.” They just need to find another word that rhymes with cat, and I have to imagine there are at least a thousand words.

If you are reading this – and feel so motivated, I’d love to hear what you think would make a better match to “I have a silly cat, (fill in the blank)”

I should probably take advantage of my napping baby and brush my teeth this morning.